National Side Chick Day, the woman your man cheats with will get her gifts tooFebruary 13, 2017
Calm down. Your man hasn’t invented anything new. He ain’t that clever! Abraham had a baby by his wife’s servant before he had a child with his wife, Sarah. Lot’s daughter got him drunk then she seduced her own father into having sex with her. David got off watching Bathsheba take showers outside of his mansion. He wanted her so badly that he slept with her knowing she was married. Then, he had her husband killed just so he could have his way with the man’s wife. According to the bible, God told Hosea to marry Gomer and the bible described her as a whore.
So, let’s not act like infidelity is something new. It’s been around since the beginning and most people refuse to accept the truth for why it happens. Yep, some men are straight up dogs and women can be dogs too. But not everyone who cheats intends to do it. Hardly anyone wakes up in the morning and just decides – “Hmm I want to be a ‘hoe’ today!” It’s not that simple.
A relationship is like a dietary plan. If you want the best results you have to stick to the plan. If you skip a week it can throw the whole diet off. You’re doing great until you see that chocolate cake you’re not supposed to eat. One bite and you have reminded yourself how good the cake is. This is why most dieticians and trainers instruct a healthy balance rather than a complete abstinence of desires. If you get what you like on a consistent basis, you have no reason to cheat on the strict days.
So, let’s make this make sense to your relationship. Your man doesn’t mind talking to you. He doesn’t mind listening to you. He won’t even mind spending time with you. But understand this very clearly… all of that better lead to some nasty, filthy, animalistic behavior on a consistent basis. All that stuff you used to do when you were trying to get him. Guess what… that’s not enough anymore. You have to do that AND try some new stuff.
Watch a black college band’s drum major take the field. Before the band comes out, he will blow the whistle and bend over backwards. That right there… you better learn how to do it because the side chick has it down pact. That stuff you see Beyoncé doing in her videos. You better get a Youtube account and watch because the side chick knows how to do those moves. All that stuff you have constantly said you will never do- you know all that stuff that Nicki Minaj says she does. Well, he wants you to do some of that too.
Let’s face it. Most people get settled and become boring. Life is now work, church, kids. Work, church, kids. Work, church, kids. At work you have to be conservative. At church you have to be Holy. In front of the kids, you have to be an example. While your man respects you being a model woman, none of that matters to him at all if his sexual desires are never met.
Please don’t get sexual desires confused with sexual activity. Just because you have sex with him doesn’t mean his desires are met. What you give is clearly 5 steps below what he actually fantasizes in his mind. It’s like when you’re hungry and you eat a bag of chips. It gets you over but it doesn’t completely fill you up and it won’t take long at all for that appetite to resurface. You’ll eventually go looking for food again. If too much time goes by and you still haven’t eaten, you will eat anything you can get. You may not even love the meal but it’s quenching a thirst that had been neglected.
Most women affected by infidelity all believe they are doing everything right and many times they are. They are doing everything right according to the Bible and all the books written on how to be a good woman. Nobody ever admits neglect or failure to please but the most common reason a man has sex with someone else is because that person obviously does some nasty stuff that he can’t resist. There are no books for that because every man is different. So every man’s appetite is different. The Pastor can’t coach you on that. If you love him, you’re going to have to be a wife in the streets and a freak in the sheets.
Men waste hundreds of dollars in strip clubs just to see it done differently. It’s not that you aren’t doing it right. You’re just doing it the same. Hardly any men mind teaching his woman what he likes. Stop pretending you are the Queen of the Night. There is no harm in just communicating to your man that you want him to teach you how to please him more. Guess what, you can require the same of him. Show him how to please you the way you like to be pleased. The root of all infidelity is assumption. You assume your partner is satisfied. You assume your partner is still thrilled so you never talk about it.
Most “Side Chicks” don’t even want to be married to your man. He provides the illusion of love that she wants and she provides the fantasy that he seeks. It may sound petty to you but those things she does to him are so important that he clearly is willing to jeopardize his whole family to get it. Once he gets it, it’s not that easy to turn it off. She doesn’t control his mind. She doesn’t even want to. She controls that other head of his and she knows if she can control that one, she can gain his mind and his wallet. Most men don’t mind paying to see it done differently.
Women should also understand their man. Where he comes from. How he was raised. The examples he has been shown. Learn what his father or uncles have taught him. You’d be surprised the number of men who consider having sex without being in love is not cheating. It’s just sex to him. Millions of men have learned cheating is being in an affair with someone they have fallen in love with. So, if they don’t love the side chick, most men don’t consider it cheating.
Men can separate a sexual fantasy with a side chick from making love with his woman. Women usually have a hard time separating the two emotions. Truthfully, it’s quite common among most masculine circles to have a “main chick” and a “side chick”. Their best friends know each other’s side chicks but it goes against the ‘bro code’ to reveal such classified information about his friend.
It’s not a poverty mindset because wealthy men do it as well. It’s the feeling of sexual power. Men crave it. Men need it and most men don’t mind paying extra for it.
Sex generates feelings. When you have feelings for someone you will do nice things for them. You don’t have to be in love with someone to have feelings for them. A man can love his wife and truthfully never intend to leave her. Even the side chick knows this. However, due to sexual voyages he has experienced with his other woman, feelings have cultivated out of nowhere. Even though he has all intentions of spending quality time with his woman, he already knows there is a border line on how far she is willing to go with him. While he appreciates her kindness, it only makes him look forward to being with his Side Chick.
The other woman understands she isn’t first. She understands she isn’t equal. She will sacrifice February 14 because she knows he is going to take care of her on February 15. He has to. What makes great passionate sex is the idea that the two people involved want each other so badly that they will do whatever it takes to satisfy their sexual addictions to each other. So, yes she gets a gift. Truth be told, she may even get it the day before Valentine’s Day because she provides a very important service to him that his woman just doesn’t seem to prioritize.
You’ll never be able to stop someone who wants to cheat from cheating. When a man decides he is ’bout that life’ you can’t stop him from doing what he has already decided he is going to do. But, there are some things you can do to prevent the temptation.
- Talk About It. Sex has to be part of your dialogue. Ask him what he likes. Read up on Sexual Pleasure. Watch some videos yourself to stay on your game. Better yet, watch them with him and you both learn together.
- Be About It. Pleasing your man has to be a personal priority. Play with his mind. Make him wonder what new tricks you have in store for the next time. In your bedroom, Fear is never invited to the party.
- Pray About It. This may sound lame but if you are as Spiritual as you claim to be then pray for the strength to be what your man desires. Pray for the confidence to satisfy his needs. What can it hurt? You pray for everything else.
Americans spend $19Billion for Valentine’s Day but researchers will never know for sure if the majority of the money is spent on the #1 Person or the Person on the Side. One thing is for sure, there will be millions of women smiling on February 14 but there will probably be just as many of them smiling on February 15.
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